Ha, I have never had mono, but one summer I was seriously dating one woman and one guy, and both got mono, and I did not, so I had to put up with both calling me a “carrier.” Maybe it was a coincidence. Or maybe I am a bisexual Typhoid Mary.

My husband and I are crying, crying with laughter reading this. He looked at me, looked at his dick, looked at me again and laughed his ass off. This is the greatest comment story I have ever read on Gawker Media.

Your MIL sounds kind of awesome.

My apologies in advance for the long backstory, but it is necessary to fully understand the horrible-ness of the situation. I live in a tiny apartment in New York with my wife and son, which, ever since our son has gotten the ability to walk and talk and whatnot already made sex a fairly covert affair (the window of…

I hope this gets out of grey because its terrible and awesome and you’ve probably only been able to tell this story a very few times.

Scene- My bedroom, 2 AM, after a bottle and a half of wine.
Players (In a theatre sense, not like, a gross way to say ‘lovers’ or whatever)- My husband and also my me.

We were young, early 20’s, shitty on wine, having laugh sex, where we sort of clumsily bounced around the bedroom, laughing and not totally putting all…

I’m attempting to mentally work out the logistics of that...and failing.

I loled too, which apparently hurt because laughing makes buttholes clench. It was a very shortsighted endeavour on the testicle owners part.

Everytime I get the “here, let me in” text from my boyfriend, I find him outside my apartment trimming his fingernails, just chilling outside clipping like it’s the most common thing in the world. Words cannot express my appreciation after reading this.

A testicle got stuck in a butthole.

When ever a guy doesn’t have his fingernails properly trimmed, I fear something like this will happen.

A Story of Few Words: A Sexy Haiku

Is this the thread where I share my emotional pain experienced during sex?

You are totally right on this. (And I also grew up with a lot of adults who preferred to be referred to just by their first name.) You show respect to people by, you know, treating them with respect. Not by using honorifics. Adults, while they have more power and responsibility than young people, are no more deserving…

sometimes I get called ma'am and I just want to die. like, I am 29. ma'am should be relegated for use for women over the age of 75.

The very first time someone younger calls me “sir” or “mister” I’m going to go home and cry for three days.

woman does thing, is happy. society burns.

Well, I’m once again an employed person. I start in 2 weeks, and I’m so relieved but also like, man, there goes my free time. I have lots of fun things coming up though, so that will make for a nice transition time. Unrelated, yesterday in yoga, I tried a new pose and fell flat on my head and also somehow cut open my…

also, the song/music video for Bad Blood is horrible

I can hardly wait until Taylor is through promoting this album, if I have to here the term bad blood once more, there will be blood.