I... I don’t understand this ruling on the mathlete captain and Amber Rose’s instagram buddy. It was talked about after last session. They’re both trolling themselves by holding up matching gifts from one douchebag. The second I see some chick is running around with the same gift my ex got me, I’m headed to the pawn…

Who used this picture of real pizza for Indiana pizza? Fire them immediately.

Yes, it’s right up there with erectile dysfunction in the made up shit list.

Be offended! Be-be-offended!

First off, there's the grunge sound that cranked out dozens of hit singles with feminist themes. Songs about equality, domestic violence, and bodily autonomy. They're out there, and major names of the era too. Male bands too! People like Melissa Etheridge, Sarah McLachlan, Tori Amos, and…

It's so easy for people to be like... "Why are you getting X, Y, Z on food stamps?"

Oh hey, douchebags, you missed the blurb about "inexpensive processed" foods in their list. That probably means those 50 cent boxes of macaroni and cheese, dollar packs of ramen noodles, and boxes of instant mashed potatoes among…

Because those improvements will appear the moment the tax on junk food will appear, right?

"delicious pastry from Cinnabon" - Mark Shrayber

I knew you were twisted, Mark. I've got all your vagina stories bookmarked to gross out my friends, but this one crosses the line. I'm not sure if I can bookmark you anymore. You choose Cinnabon over Auntie Annes.

Fuck, I'm hurting over this.

And just think, someday she could be just like Madonna!

Where's the discussion about Selena looking 12 in that pic?

Writing an entire article about a catchphrase that is coming back from 30 years ago deserves a catchphrase from five years ago: Phoning it in.

"It was embarrassing and a waste of Chick-fil-A, a true low point in my life."

I had to stop there. I couldn't get through the rest of the article. CPAC, conservative women's organizations, and then Chick-fil-A all combined was too much for me. I need a drink and a couple Tylenol PMs to recover.

Oh my luck, I need that dress right now.

Before Kim started messing with her face, I used to think she was the living Princess Jasmine. I have to say, Kylie has usurped the title. Let's hope she manages not to get mangled by botox-demons.

The only parallels can draw between Brando, Rourke, and LeBeouf is they all began as attractive young men.

I would suggest sharing your fantasies in a more appropriate place. Therapy would be a good start.

Shia LeBeouf is the Mickey Rourke of this generation.

Well played, SNL.

"And now, I'm ready to begin my journey as a conservative Republican wife."

I got plenty of pink down there.

"your puerto rican ass" was totally uncalled for, and is just making you look more ignorant. You should really let this one go now.

The facts were clearly cited for you. It went from 38% to 18%.

This is simple math. This is not a question of where women supposedly belong.