I think she’s just racist against wookies. “Walking carpet”, “just as soon kiss a wookie”, no medal in A New Hope... So many micro- and not-so-micro-aggressions.

Yeah, teams that consistently draft well like the Steelers, Patriots, Packers, Giants, etc must be the luckiest teams in the NFL. I’m sure it’ll turn around for perpetually unlucky Cleveland, Oakland and Jacksonville any day now.

You should re-create the exact same injury on yourself and then let us know the odds of survival.

you made me check espn, you dick.

This is my 50th year watching the NBA, and there have been only two individial players for whom I rarely changed the channel. The first was Michael Jordan, and the second is Stephen Curry.

Sorry for the confusion but I actually work at Peet’s now.

By his logic, a point after should be worth three, since it’s a field goal, and by God, all scoring plays better count the same.

Fuck. Just, fuck. God dammit. This guy captures brilliantly why Trump is the likely Republican nominee.

I’m glad he’s retiring. Now he can help his wife address her HGH problem.

I’m looking forward to seeing how he can shoehorn an analogy between his career and “that delicious little yellow pepper they put in the box” at his retirement speech.

I agree completely with your correct assessment that no one has ever made a meme out of a Democrat.

Wow, you can type a comment that’s more than two words long! I think I’ve brought out the best in you! It’s still shit, but at least I’ve helped you be less shit.

His tweet is fucking perfect! It’s hilarious that the same party talking about the size of their ding-dongs during a presidential debate thinks hip-hop is a symbol of America’s moral corruption.

Ice T is legit one of the great minds of our time. I love him.

How sad. The French get 6 federally mandated things to complain about each year because socialism.

“Ronald Reagan once punched a hole in a cow just so he could see who was comin’ up the road.”

I think “intellectually curious” is putting a good spin on his tendency to ask “What is that?” when presented with everyday objects, like telephones or clams or sprinklers.

Yeah, at least there’s evidence to support the idea that Teddy Roosevelt was intellectually curious. And I suppose you could easily say that his IC factor was higher than, for example, Snooki.

Yes. I’m only allowed to complain about one thing per year, and this is my thing.