"And DEN he come right out of the bathtub, waving his little schmeckle in front of my entire bridge club, shouting, 'LOOK AT MY PEEPEE!' I tell ya, it was just the most DAHLING thing!"

I'm reading "Strong is the New Skinny", but all I hear in my head is, "Now you have to skinny but with the correct amount of muscle definition."

.. Are you kidding me? That's like saying you can just "delete" someone when they insult you in person. Yeah, shit happens, people say mean stuff, but they shouldn't get off scot-free because they say such things. They need to be punished, and it's a shame that Microsoft took such a long time to do that.

Honest-to-god conversation with my husband in Ulta:

It sounds like a song that would be featured in a Sex and the City episode. More precisely, the episode where Samantha is wearing a gingham bathing suit and they're having a rooftop party and there's some really gay-euro dance tune in the background.

My favorite is this:

Could it be because the larger your family the more likely you are to come from a very religious background? I'd bet Orthodox Jews, Mormons, and religous Catholics have lower divorce rates than the rest of the country as a whole.

I would assume if you have more children, you might be more religious. Hence, less likely to get a divorce cuz of religion, not number of siblings.

I said nothing, because I was not an allergy sufferer...

Do you guys ever, like, NOT fuck up when it comes to addressing issues concerning women of color? This piece is everything - and I mean EVERY MOTHERFUCKING THING - wrong with feminism as far as WOC are concerned. Black Twitter is going to drag this place for filth.

Grab your ovaries and come out with a real statement, or, hell, a retraction if necessary. This - this is bargaining. And it is pathetic. Jessica, I respect that your job is difficult. You're representing feminism to a broad audience. Do us all a favor: stand up straight and speak clearly. I have tremendous faith in…

RATIONALIZATION

I'm pretty sure 99% of Jez's readers have always been well aware that he's a manipulative asshole. Have a look back through the comments on some of his articles...

Not an apartment overlooking a parking lot!

Nope.

There are similar genius puppies in this amazing compilation of puppies learning to go up and down stairs. I'll just leave this here.

But is it gluten-free?

Pretty sure we wouldn't be posting a pic of a woman's cameltoe with a similar headline.

i'm assuming this is up because he consented to having this picture taken, right? i would be mortified if someone posted a picture of me in an unpadded bra right as a cool breeze was going by...

I thought y'all were staunchly against creepshots.