Whoa I've never been this early to a Doug post. What do I write?

There will be a follow up to this article when Doug sells his Aston to Tavarish for the price of a brand new Corolla.

We will deliver this car in 2017 for $35k if you give us $1000 now....... April fools!!!

Neutral: What’s The Most Outdated Car Regulation In America?

And I can barely get 4G on my stupid phone.

Enjoy your date, road head can wait.

It just struck me… It turns off the emissions control software!

Dude...

FATE NUMBER THREE: They end up on the front page of Jalopnik in a Freddy Hernandez story, exhorting readers to buy them for the price of a good used Lexus.

Well, if you’d like to see a real life example of why mechanical lockers are superior, as well as an explanation, watch these videos for starters:

Jeep’s new stair decent mode will ensure you find the best parking at mall/school.

Let me take a stab at this...

A proper gear shift involves your left leg.........

This is not terrible:

To make this even more gaudy, it should be animated. It runs based on the speed you’re driving.

“This warranty does not cover loss directly or indirectly caused by nuclear fuel, or from any nuclear waste from the combustion of nuclear fuel.” Imagine that conversation. “I’m sorry Mr. DeMuro, but we can’t authorize your heater hose repair. It failed due to the nuclear holocaust that has currently enslaved the…

my biased fanboy is coming out but,

I just got more joy from that 30 seconds than I will likely get from the entire first season of New New Top Gear.

Anyways, back in rational land: