Whether or not Colin Kaepernick feels comfortable around Chip Kelly probably depends on how well lit the room is.

he has no teeth, so he has nothing to brush

Burying the lede. It’s obvious that you don’t brush your teeth in the morning. Filth.

that doesn’t make you 32, that makes you 52

Boom. Body wash, shampoo, AND conditioner. Who says you can’t have it all?

Yaaaaaas queen!

Force choke any crying children and complaining parents, problem solved.

My phone doesn’t have dates on it, it’s a phone. It has a dial.

Also ideal for pickle or any other schoolyard game that involves winging balls at your friends’ heads.

You know about time zones, right?

If you woke up after noon, nobody gives a fuck if you are confused.

Albert is silently fuming over how horrible this list is. I give it until 2:30 until he has an outburst about how criminally underrated gum balls are.

Wow, you got them all right, in the correct order, the first time! Deadspin writers always fail at that.

yes you are, i love it. JUJU some girls like sports..mmmkkkkkkkk and fun too

and boy is this stuff woke

Peak Swap v.2

me too....

That one got me last night.

Meanwhile, the Deadspin and Jezebel staffs swapped blogs and the results are already hilarious.