It’s forced CONduction!

I bet you were amped up when you thought of this word play. You just couldn’t resist, could you?

It’s the current trend, though - some of them are real joules, too.

Don’t be surprised to find some resistance to your amping up the puns.

This should come as a shock to no one.

Yet gravitas remains in short supply. :-(

So if it’s ok to hit pedestrians at night, can you eat them since they are now roadkill? Just asking for a friend.

Another tip - It’s always good to run around screaming or crying when things don’t go your way. We men don’t do that - we crush our feelings down and down, smashing them into a little ball, then squeezing that ball tighter and tighter and forcing it into the dark recesses of our souls until our wife innocuously asks,…

...even when the speedo is 0mph

No one should feel safe when someone wearing that hat is behind the wheel.

I’m in.

Right, because what we really need is an organizations that can make us look as terrible to the public eye as the NRA does to gun owners.

we all talk about how easily played he is, but he plays us too, by exploiting our weakness for outrage

I lava what you did there. Very magmanimous of you.

He’s doing this on purpose to distract from the ongoing saga of the Senate healthcare fiasco and from a pretty decent sprinkling of scandal-related stories to come out in the last few days. He does this every time he wants to change the subject and shake up the news cycle. He has never cared if press was good or bad,…

And also, when its raining cats and dogs, turns out cats and dogs aren’t literally falling from the sky. There would be no way for them to get up there, and they would surely die on impact.

It’s called hyperbole. I didn’t think I needed a /joke disclaimer while mocking a conspiracy theorist.

20 years to get to Mars?! What kind of backwards route are these rockets taking? You could walk to Mars in less than 20 years!

They launch the rockets at night, so no one sees them.

He reminds me of how doctor evil described his father: