The teeth of the comb are like the branches of government over his hair. There are too many of them and they hold too much power when it comes to shaping his coif.

Seems a bit unfair when Vaitividya and epicnamebro basically have careers doing this

Bungie should do a competition like this!

Having a Mac is like having the prettiest, shiniest Lotus, (“Oooh! Shiny! Can I pay 100% more for it, please?”) with a 4-cylinder engine inside it (because Macs don’t always use the best parts), with the hood welded shut (because Apple doesn’t want you looking in there), and not being able to upgrade the engine (same…

Running windows on a mac is more like buying a Ford, but putting a Ferrari engine in it.

Good fucking lord, dude. Mac isn’t exactly the second coming of Christ.

Nobody cares about Mac gaming. Except Blizzard.

When can I expect my mushroom to be deposited into my account?

For me, I hate these particular ones because they are *inescapable.* It used to be that fad dancing was reserved to weddings and school dances, and now all of a sudden I’m hearing/seeing these dances pop up on the radio while in the car or at the mall. If the Electric Slide was played while I shopped at Target, I…

... You snarked that I’d enjoy the nondescript and rhythm-less dancing between tumbles passes by other gymnasts. I said that I actually hated ALL dancing in tumbling, and gave my reason. And that’s.... side-swiping somehow?

My goodness, had no idea these movements were so sacred I’d get snark just for disliking them... At any rate, I’d prefer the “dancing” be done away in the tumbling period, since male gymnasts don’t have to do this kind of stupid pandering. But I guess we need to emphasize that female athletes are still appropriately…

I’m fairly certain nobody asked for this, but here we are: Luffy from One Piece gets turned into a lady for upcoming merch.

Oh, I LOVE this!

react?

I was surprised by this as well... This song is the pure essence of Deadspin distilled and shot in a girl’s eye. Hell, I assumed that each writer had their very own verse on a “Floor 2 Crew” tribute track.

So you’re employed at Deadspin but had never heard of the 7th Floor Crew? You all really need to step up your hiring standards.

So tl;dr Greg Olsen suffers from premature ejaculation and compensates with presumably flaccid ear sex.

Luckily, Olsen’s wife will never see this.