I stand on my record. Fifteen crashes and not a single fatality!

I walked to school from 2nd grade to graduation, even while cold and raining. Didn’t have someone to chauffeur me to and fro.

Aggressively lame, for sure.

This is definitely the lamest “prank” millennials have come up with. So you drink a drink? Wow, my eyes haven’t glazed over this quickly since...

Pete probably has a bigger dick, considering he doesn't have the money or looks.

Ah yes, sarcasm, the “it’s just a joke bro” of the pretentious set.

You can’t tell me that “Wendy” isn't a cross dresser looking at that pic.

Yeah why is The Root not saying anything about the Wisconsin motor terrorist?

Here is report on a speech GWB gave: https://www.theonion.com/bush-regales-dinner-guests-with-impromptu-oratory-on-vi-1819567929

Which “people of color” group is this? The one that truly is all races, or the one that in reality is just blacks and excludes all the other minorities?

Protip: cut the large breast with a knife to make it smaller.

Nothing a good smack to the cheek won’t fix.

A video? Christ, just list the method in text.

Ummm, do not do any of this. You cannot “remove” scratches. All you can do is smooth down the existing glass to match the valley of the scratch. And doing so makes the glass weaker, because you are removing glass. Either live with the scratch, or replace the pane.

I will settle for the elimination of slideshows.

Why tax them? He just put $6M directly in many people’s wallets. No IRS middleman involved.

Really? I didn’t have to get a permit for my Galant, which is over 8.5 feet in length. 15.9 feet long actually.