Notice that none of these contestants are outraged enough to return their winnings.

That’s nothing. Chuck Norris is the only man ever to create a V1 engine.

And quickly you learned the fine art of bribery and kickbacks. Pretty heartwarming, actually. Al Capone would be proud.

I still haven't gotten the date for the next Illuminati meeting. I really am looking forward to subjugating the rest of you un-elites.

“But my monies!” - Fat Cat CEO

His momma name him Bruce, so imma call him Bruce.

I know the tracking chip runs Windows Vista, but how do I update it?

I only use the fog lights during a Slow Ride.

I only use the fog lights during a Slow Ride.

Or just get him out of there and help him get home?

Would it be a good idea to take 81mg aspirin daily to help prevent clots in the meantime?

And Black. That’s why The Root said absolutely NOTHING about it.

His momma name him Bruce, so imma call him Bruce.

There’s one guy who would apply for high paying jobs where they would fly you up there, put you up in a hotel, even give you money. At a crucial point in the interview he would make sure to botch it as there was no intention of taking the job. It was all just a vacation on the various companies dime. Eventually he was…

And do what? The publisher is not the police. Imagine if someone claimed my Ferrari detailer raped someone, without proof. I can’t go anything about it.

You know those infomercials where they ask for money saying a $1 donation will feed a person for a day? Where can I buy that food? I’ll gladly donate for someone else if I can get it too.

And what disorder is that? Being an insufferable cunt?

I need to hear more about these libraries with wet bars.

No one likes annoying fat chicks with short hair, Demi.

Demi seems determined to carry on Rosie O’Donnell’s work of testing America’s tolerance for short haired fat chicks who are annoying.