$1 more than Tesla’s.

I coulda sworn five years ago every maker claimed their entire lineup would be electric by now.

2011? Try 1911.

I have one word for you.

Good, the paramedics won’t have to waste time scooping them up after your eventual demise from a big rig hit.

Ever try just not crashing, see how that turns out?

I had a roommate who posited that since he was gone a bunch of days each month, he didn’t have to pay rent for those days. I said fine, just as long as you move out all your shit on those days, because I’m not going to store and guard them for free.

Now I want a Cadillac Cinnabon Saul Goodman Edition.

The Internet? Is that thing still around?

Terrence Malik sounds like a classic modern Black guy’s name.

I’d settle for requiring glass instead of plastic.

An avocado green Tesla, you say?

Uh oh, here comes Batterygate.

Good music is good music. Simple as that. If even Trump the Orange had the ability to write a sick guitar riff, I'd buy it.

What's up, my N-words?

It helps prepare for a career in Human Resources, or become a prison warden.

I’m going to gift my smoking hot wife and me a GMC Denali in blue and an Acadia in red I just had the dealership drop off outside our chalet. They are going to blow away those smart watches I already know she’s gonna “surprise” me with tomorrow. Either of these vehicles will come in handy to carry home the Peloton I’m…

If your job can be done from your home, it can also be done from someone’s home in Bombay...

When I want an ULTRA QUICK thing to eat, BBQ chips in a tortilla will hit the spot.

Or...stop using dirty IV needles while having unprotected anal sex with a Haitian immigrant..