Well you can understand his claims given how all guns everywhere were banned as a result of Sandy Hook.

Taylor Swift flew from California toTexas, then back to California and BOY, ARE HER ARMS TIRED!!!

I once ditched a boring ass Mormon wedding and drove 2 hours to a punk rock show bc I wanted to bang the guitarist. I did, in fact, bang him. And 10 years later I married the drummer.

Never change.

That coat should get Wintour shot for crimes against fashion.

There are a couple hundred Malayan tigers left; just leaving them all where they live is maybe not the best way to still have Malayan tigers in ten years.

I like raisins. They’re just grapes who have seen things, man.

Yellowface is yellowface even if it’s CGI.

Aw that Tiffani girl doesn’t know how to apply fake eyelashes at all, that is sad and she should just stop.

No, just that “Mercado” means market.

Kylie doesn’t even look like Kylie.

No one knows for sure.

“and then he killed himself with poison and then I stabbed myself”

He had a car?! I’m surprised it took Them this long to get engaged. Hard to find a hot older boy with a car. So hard.

Yay! Congratulations to Them! And possibly to Rita Ora!

I like that probable-alien Ted Cruz is eating aluminum foil.

A list of lifestyles with which I do not “agree:”

It's like she doesn't even understand who watches shows like American Idol.

I don’t accept your lifestyle as a bigot.

Please interview my obnoxious boo James Kennedy and ask about his pump album.