There is no way in hell Skeet Ulrich can have dinner with the most famous woman in the local Applebee’s, much less the most famous woman on the planet.

What wormhole-destination reality have I ended up in?

I do not like it when people assert that these sorts of chronic illnesses are not real. Or, conflate and confuse different things. You say your bit over and over. I”ll back you up.

Are you basing this on the singles, specifically? Because a lot of what doesn’t end up on the radio is either sweet, like “Ours” and “Never Grow Up”, or hopeful, like “Enchanted”, or realistic about the narrator’s flaws, like “Stay Stay Stay”. The woman may be fake as a three-dollar bill, but when someone talks about…

Yeah, we can call her out for being shitty and immature, but I guess for me personally, her relative shittiness is playground pettiness compared to some other celebrities who I think have been super shitty but are held in higher esteem.

Gee whiz, have you even listened to 1989? I get why you’d find some of it annoying, particularly in the context of her public persona, but some of it is just really good, solid pop music about feelings and relationships. It’s one thing to write off superfans, but just people who like her songs? Ugh, I don’t trust or…

• Dancing With the Stars judge Carrie Ann Inaba revealed that chronic fatigue slows her sex drive.

Reverse-counterpoint: I actually buy that she was offended by the fact that Kanye referred to her as “that bitch,” which for some reason was not disclosed during their phone call. She was lacking in self-awareness in her response and came across as overly self-righteous, but I absolutely understand why the…

As opposed to whom? Adele, and her constant sappy stream of “why did you reject me I’m miserable” songs?

I’ll say it: I like Taylor Swift. I like this persona. I like that she’s taking the snake thing on. You fuck up IRL and everyone find outs and calls you out on it — own it. They just gave you new material for your next era.

Taylor is the Slytherin that thought she should be in Gryffindor, but now that she’s there, she’s gonna embrace the brand 3000%.

The people defending her get it. The endless comments talking about how “over her” they are, not so much. Taylor Swift seems to be the epitome of “have fun with your thinkpieces, but I’m laughing all the way to the bank” and although an unpopular opinion, I LOVE her for it. Also, the author is and has repeatedly…

Only if it’s a remake of “November Rain” wherein Taylor is Axl, and Karlie Kloss in the Stephanie Seymour role.

1. Taylor is the most Slytherin Slytherin who has ever Slytherin-ed. Lean into it, girl.

The longer Taylor goes on about snakes, the longer I can pretend it’s a harbinger of her awesome duet with Slash.

Ripped cords and flannel. Of course she doesn’t know the difference between Punk and Grunge. GOD IVANKA. If you were punk you would have been listening Pennywise, Rancid and Social D, and you would have HATED Nirvana as selliuts.

Ready to hear about how Kushner played bass in a metal band and partied with Lemmy.

There was a quote that I read from Ivana’s book that read something to the effect that she was shocked to discover that Taco Bell does not serve wine. Considering this, I highly, highly doubt that Ivana has ever purchased boxed hair dye.

Back to blonde...

If no one who was not a blood relative or their employee saw you go through your rebellious phase, you didn’t go through a rebellious phase.