Wait, do you work for the health department (as you previously claimed, which most sane people understand to be a government job) or for an insurance company?

Spending 8 extra hours on a plane for absolutely no reason (and then spending 12 more to get to your destination very late) would be fine and dandy to you?

Method #1 reminds me of the hipster chocolate milk bar on Brooklyn 99.

Yeah, if everyone in my immediate family and circle of friends was inexplicably wealthy (and I was, too), I’d go for either sentimental or unique with gifts. Giving your independently wealthy multi-millionaire wife $200K in stocks is like my aunt giving me a $25 Wawa gift card (I’m not turning it down and it will…

They definitely do in the United States unless you have a farm or are one of those assholes with city chickens.

Hoping they make enough $$ to afford shoes and mend their jeans, those poor souls.

Where on earth would Tom Brady have picked that up, though? He is the polar opposite of Southern.

But what if he was a good boy, the best boy, such a good boy? Can he have a biscuit then, the good good boy?

Penelec charges a lot and are scummy. See this article about a development near Johnstown, PA, where they told low-income residents their monthly bills would average $16/mo, but are closer to $600/mo: http://www.tribdem.com/news/high-electric-bills-shocking-somerset-development-residents/article_027b6520-079e-11e7-8bc2…

One thing you didn’t touch on is that despite being an entire genre about Christmas, these movies are almost always incredibly secular (Candace Cameron Bure seems to have it in her contract that exactly one carol that name checks Jesus is included in her movies, but that is an aberration). There is much talk of…

They occasionally work in a few light-skinned black men, but always either as the City Boyfriend who gets dumped or as Random Townperson (the latest one on Netflix has the one black man as the co-owner of a big business, but he doesn’t show up until the last five minutes and is dressed as Santa Claus). (No, really.)…

His heart is in the right place but he always strikes me a little... slow? But maybe he’s just constantly baked. Or both.

I’d be worried about wiping bits that are way more delicate than my ass. I mean, my nails get over 1/4" long and I am inadvertently scratching myself in all kinds of awkward places. Also, it’s a pain to use any kind of keyboard, even on a screen. That’s usually what motivates me to lop all of my fingernails off.

Do you say the same things to vegetarians or vegans or people who are on religious diets or any other entirely voluntary dietary restriction? No? Then fuck your selective outrage.

I bought this exact model a couple years ago, and while the AC outlets still work perfectly, the USB ports crapped out after about a year.

I bought this exact model a couple years ago, and while the AC outlets still work perfectly, the USB ports crapped…

According to him.

When this movie was first announced, some little twerp was on here (Jez) arguing with me that no one knew the Clooney version was a remake, and that he, a supposed NYU film student, was the expert on what people knew when he was 5. It was fucking hilarious.

Aww, which youtube comment was yours, lil buddy?

Since this is a remake of a remake, this seems like a weird time to make this tired argument that only seems to get dragged out these days when gender or race swaps are involved (newsflash: Hollywood has always recycled. The Maltese Falcon with Bogart was a remake of a movie from only a few years before).

I’ve also encountered “knob of butter” which google claims is 1.5-2 tbsp.