Many years ago, I worked at a shoe store when this kid started ripping shoes out of the boxes and throwing them all over the aisles. I told him to stop it (calm but firm) and then mom suddenly popped out of nowhere to tell me not to discipline her son. And internally I was like, I don’t want to? I’d rather you do it?

About a week ago, I woke up with this overwhelming thought of, “Someone please tell me Scott Pruitt is resigning today,” and for a brief moment before I checked the news, I believed it. Every day has been a disappointment ever since.

The first person I confided to said, “Yeah, guys can get like that, sometimes.” Her resigned shrug of a response made me feel like I was over-reacting. It’s just something guys do, sometimes, and there’s nothing any of us can do about it.

This has happened to me, too, except what my random weirdo said was, “I wouldn’t hit you, I love you too much!” Um, what?

The Charlotte Lucas’ of the world don’t need to marry the Mr. Collins’ anymore and those unctuous blowhards don’t know what to do. I’d feel bad if they didn’t always blame everyone else for their problems.

I’m forever gray, but maybe this will work:

I was chatting with a woman at a bar a few weeks ago who actually said to me, “Come on, would it really be any different if Hillary were president?” And I was like, “...... YES?!” I mean, sure the Repubs would be screaming about her emails and Benghazi, but we’d probably be doing crap like debating maternity/paternity…

Would watch.

My first response to hearing about him defending Laura was, “She’s never going to hate-fuck you, Bill.” That was before I knew he had a type.

I agree, too. I feel like the only time DV was played for laughs in I, Tonya was the shotgun scene, and they said it might not have actually happened, so it felt more like a fantasy, anyway. When the violence was REAL, the audience gasped. No one was laughing, not even the ‘I’m uncomfortable and this is how I cope…

I had this one customer that was really touchy-feely and even after being bluntly told not to touch me (I really do not like being touched by people I don’t know, especially if they’re touching me like they know me, and ESPECIALLY when I’m at work), he’d STILL keep doing it. To me, this is all the red flags that this…

Bravo. I literally cackled imagining such a thing.

Oh, yeah. My cat loves me. He gets upset when I put shoes on. After I take out the garbage or something, he’ll yell at me until I sit down and he can take an 1+ nap on my lap.

They didn’t make them like that back then, either. Newman was truly a class act.

I’ll admit it. Definitely crying.

I’m sorry that happened to you, and I’m sorry you asked for help and they failed you. I had a dentist be a creep with me when I was barely 18 (still in high school). I told my mom after it happened and she started to cry and said, “He did that to you, too?” (Which is a whole other thing... If he did it to her, why…

Trump wouldn’t be able to get the security clearance needed to be a barista in an airport.

Exactly! My BFF automatically disqualifies guys with pictures of guns/dead animals in their profile. With this policy in place, she might not find out about their “preferences” until they’re on an actual date, like she did with that Trump voter a couple weeks ago...

If by “president for life” he means he’ll croak in the next six months while rage-tweeting on the shitter about something Fox & Friends said, then... yeah, okay. I could get behind that.

If anything comes from this, hopefully it’s that he needs money so bad, he has to sell his horse so she can live out her days in peace without that pedo-jackhole fucking up her mouth.