yeah whatever Salma, you look lovely with your FOUR GRAY HAIRS.

OK, see, I was gonna say, you know how people get kinda yellow if they are alcoholics forever?  Rosacea + Jaundice = Orange.  It’s color theory.

Please consider some of the photos of him at his Mar-a-Lago trash palace this last winter where he’s flanked by two other morbidly obese oligarchs. He doesn’t have his wig on (protip: when he’s wearing his fucking maga-hat it’s because he didn’t do his wig that day), nor his makeup, and he looks like shit.

Lifelong self-tanner here and you are 100% correct. Spray tans won’t leave you looking that orange but a for-shit quality self tanning cream applied sloppily surely will.

“Ok I got my speedo on, come on in! Heh heh”

I can respect Cardi’s mind and her work ethic, be interested to hear her political views, love to chat with her about FDR’s New Deal’s impact on world politics, surmise with her on the impact Elenor had on his personal politics and STILL be pissed as fuck at her for her anti-trans statements.

You’ve taken back a hopelessly philandering partner under a strict agreement that they cut contact with their social circle despite the fact that it will inevitably fall apart?

I know it’s mean. But the outside matches the inside. 

I hope her children end up despising her and she spends her life after they leave miserable and alone. 

I hate all of these people so fucking much and this one is at the top of the list. I go out of my way to never listen to her (or the president’s) voice because it literally sends me into a rage spiral, but I could not avoid it last week sitting in a hospital waiting room while my dad had open heart surgery (WHY DO…

Won’t be awkward at all.

I know it’ll probably never happen, but how awkward would it be if her kid asks her why she lies for a living.

I just hate 40 percent of it.

This is......kinda awesome. 

Star for Clackers!   9-year-old me was pretty sure he could bring down an ostrich with them.   Luckily our neighborhood was already ostrich-free.

There’s an old saying that says, fool me once, shame on - shame on you. Fool me - you can’t get fooled again.

If you click on the article, the community is PISSED. Lots of pissed off looking parents in the pictures. This is not going to end well for the school.

My Dude has given me the same spiel regarding our 13 year old. I do not doubt that he would break a bitch for harming one hair on her head! 

As a father of a 12 year old girl, I have been very clear with my wife the things I am willing to go to prison for. She understands, and fully supports me, and will make sure my commissary is well financed every week.

I am so fucking pissed at this story. I just told a friend I want to light that entire administrative staff on fire.