This is the greatest Jez comment of all time. It has everything: chocolate sauce, vegan lasagna, Jesus, porn, and Tooms speaking to you. Thank you.

will you write us weekly stories about the whole experience? please

Not one aspect of any of that is surprising except for the part where the vegan lasagna was good. Not because Courtney made it, but because “vegan lasagna”.

Okay, they were never openly horrible to me but they were to my neighbours and friends, and Their open kitchen window is right across from my very thin front door so I have heard many things I never wanted to hear. These people are clearly fucked up, but they’re also just plain weird.

No, I really do want to know. Spill, please.

I was Courtney Stodden’s next-door neighbour for years. You don’t even want to know. They are not very nice people and it is totally unsurprising that her mother’s in this.