Damn you shallow!

This was really a fucked up story of self rationalizations. I mean, really? Come on. You would of been better off leaving this article in the bin.

Nobody cares about your boner.

I still remember a year or two back, when a couple of Jezebel editors (Kara Brown was one, I think) were trying to be all hipster ironic approving and loving about Kelly and got DRAGGED. FOR. FILTH. by nearly all the commenters.

We can duck and cover in the corner together. I thought the pregnancy pics were a bit over the top but this is beyond.

These photos are embarrassing, get over yourself.

Bey up in here looking like a Sandro Botticelli painting brought to life.

Per the logic of the original 90210, non-drinkers always do coke.

Alcohol has calories. Coke doesn’t.

Dude, you and Beyonce signed a contract to become the most powerful couple in music together. Nothing about this is or ever was real, including the accusations of cheating or the contrite response to them (and at least one of her pregnancies to boot).

THERE ARE NO GOOD ONES

I know a guy in Boston who says that he picked up Jared on gay.com in ‘98. He was the most gorgeous tiny little twink bottom, took dick like a champion. There are photos, apparently.

I did read what happened. She wasn’t paying attention to the road and blundered in front of the other car.

She was at fault in a fatal accident. Fuck your money grab accusation bullshit.

LOL you’re the only person I’ve ever heard say that Paris fucking Hilton is a good pet owner: http://gawker.com/355559/pet-ownership-may-prove-to-be-paris-hiltons-chappaquiddick

Hello! Over the weekend some friends and I were debating what would be the worst jobs we would do for money. The people who muck out the NYC sewer system came up, but I proposed the person monitoring Melania Trump’s social media presence! So what’s it like? Are you in DC? I pity you, it has like two months out of the…

Team Santana. Truth hurts. Deal.

Hot take: if your Valentine’s day hinged on a pizza gimmick, it was already ruined.

These people ultimately got what they deserved. Their significant others were going to be let down either way.