Sincerely hope you lose the Wight. They seem fun at first, but the otherworldly moaning and constant pacing at all hours of the night gets old. I think you might have to invest in an enchanted weapon though.

Im sure it took a lot of self-restraint to not refer to the 70 year-old as a “sepukkugenarian.” Well done, Billy.

Oh my, you’re a star and you deserve all the stars. 

+1 I’m going to hell for it but it made me lol

Gawd damn. Have a star. 

More proof you can’t beat Father Time’s time

Suicide. Is there a shortcut this guy won’t take?

Not sure anything is ever found alive in the LA river. 

Jaded Old Smarks in jaded old scarves.

Potomac Professional Pastime Proprietors part ways with Portis, Parker, Porter. Oubre out! Carmelo captaincy conceivable.

Kyrie really didn’t like the Cavs. Kyrie really didn’t like the Celtics. No extra credit for identifying the common denominator.

Bad like a fox!

So Durant kind of seemed like the adult in the room when he and Westbrook were together in OKC.

Music is beautiful because some themes are completely timeless. Did Dolan write those lyrics, or is it drawn from Shakespeare? Impossible to say.

Man, I can hardly wait for the next JD and the Straight Shot hit single about an athlete diva who demanded too much and the sadness of the meticulous organization who just wanted the best for all.

Incel rich kid at the fancy bar insists he didn’t even try to ask out Kate Upton that one time. But probably could’ve gotten her to go home with him.

They are both undeniably weird as hell and apparently pretty sensitive about it.

How fucking terrible are the Knicks if “looking like cheap idiots” is their preferred narrative?

While Durant and Dolan would have certainly provided lots of fireworks, I think the combination of Durant and piss baby Kyrie has strong potential for a few explosions, as well. 

That makes two famous clowns named Donald.