Musk did him a favor. That is the ugliest, most overpriced tub of lard on planet earth that isn’t named Albert Haynesworth (can you crosspost to Deadspin so that actually makes sense?).

Well, that’s what happens when you buy an attractive couch.

I hate how this is going to lead to such unrealistic expectations.

I’ve fucked a neighbor’s couch, I’m pretty sure I can handle a machine.

If you only saw what I fucked in highschool, you would see that this machine would easily crack my top 5.

Have to? I think you mean do you get to.

Are you a mod? You have to tell us if you are

No artificial colors? No artificial flavors? No high high fructose corn syrup? No thank you.

Sure Jesus’s jump shot his rookie year got criticized, but even his fiercest critics had to admit he hung tough on the boards.

As an L.A. resident, I ... I ... I ... I don’t care enough to take offense at that.

Well, clearly someone cares: their name is Jason.

That’s a Jimbo.

Just another mistake by Jim Tomsula at Levi’s Stadium.

It was actually a mixed doubles match, you should've seen the service.

I wasn’t really impressed at first. But judging from the sound, it’s definitely harder than it looks.

If I wanted to see a dickhead hit a ball I’d watch Bryce Harper highlights

Man, on the heels of B.o.B.’s bullshit earlier this week, it’s like everybody has to disagree with Newton.

Imagine it like a collection of way too long tweets.

Agree, but Tupac was the fakest.

While a Coyote explains the (NHL’s) world