I’m sorry, how do I sign up for this condition? 

A British friend once told me, “On British tv, we can show anything as long as nothing is erect, and there is no visible penetration.” Gee, he wasn’t kidding. 

I didn’t hold a party when I became invisible to men, but I should have.

She should never have seen the inside of a cell. She should have received a pardon, not just a commutation. She should be going home TODAY. Even in spite of that, I’m sobbing knowing that Cyntoia is finally getting her freedom.

To be fair, though, it sounds like Konner is actually even worse, based on the context. Not that that sort of incrementalism matters, when you’re already down a pit toilet.

for workers who earn tips, the minimum is an abysmal $2.13 an hour.

So what’s the over-under on this? Either the courts revisit that lawsuit and Scientology starts facing a bunch more similar ones, which they will litigate aggressively, vindictively, and ceaselessly until they win; or, the courts accept the argument, and an abusive cult that kept women as sex slaves is allowed to…

This year, I’m giving up my uterus!! And at least one of my ov’s!!

If white people knew they could be arrested for calling the police for no reason on black people, we would start to see progress.

It won’t work. Ask JFK, Ronald Reagan, and Gerald Ford**. All of whom were surrounded by people expert in the use of guns, and none who were protected by using those guns.

When pretty much anyone can own or possess a gun, pretty much any threat of physical violence is “imminent”.

That you can't distinguish between inanely likable tall man Zachary Levi and inanely likable tall man Jon Krasinski is hysterical 

What’s up with Louisana, considering embryos as people? Shouldn’t it also be considered a shocking level of abuse to keep “people” locked up in a freezer?

I’ve always thought I’d just tell people to wear what they felt like wearing. With my friends I’d end up with a mix of jeans & metal tees, dressy people, and people in fancy dress/costumes. I’d rather have everyone comfortable than feel like they have to dress like someone else.

we had our wedding party at an open folk music festival.

We were the same, except we put diapers on “subscribe and save.” Diapers were stolen from our porch. DIapers arrived late. Then we realized we were pretty good at predicting how long a pack of diapers or a can of formula would last, and just bought everything at Costco, a company that objectively does NOT suck.

I actually didn’t become a member of my mom’s tribe until I was an adult. My dad is Seneca and his tribe is matrilineal. Since my mom is Menominee that meant my dad’s tribe was out. For years, my mom spent a lot of time trying to prove I had enough blood quantum to join her tribe. Eventually, she hired a woman who was…

I love this show, but as a lawyer, it is one of the worst offenders for representation of lawyers and the law. Also she literally wins every single case, usually by having some *ping* realization that ties everything up neatly. It’s still charming though! I’m just cynical. 

Yeah, Dan was waaaaaaaaaaaaay off base with that one. Not only about the lying and the lack of consent that brings, but he didn’t even bring up how sex toys require different care and cleaning than actual human penises. It’s safe to assume the guy has showered and has shed skin cells. It’s not safe to assume a…

“save the packaging so you can pass it off as new with your next girlfriend” seems like horrific advice. Rephrasing it to “lie to your next girlfriend about what you’re putting in her body and where it’s been” would be equally bad, but at least more honest. Dude, if your new girlfriend isn’t worth buying a new…