Read this earlier, and just, wow.

I mean, I was an idiot and a bad person in college too. But I never felt like I had the ability to try to ruin somebody’s life because... well, not because they didn’t agree with me, exactly, but because they agreed with me, but not on every exact thing.

Title IX is one of the greatest…

This is really ridiculous. I’m all for college students speaking out against abuse or hate speak, but this was simply a critically thinking professor who has a different stance/opinion than some other campus feminists. Feminism is not a monolith! We are all allowed to have different feminist beliefs!!

OBVIOUSLY a parent. *rolls eyes*

True story: In the first couple weeks of the first year of law school, my Torts professor was trying to explain Battery to us, and we got down a rabbit hole of vicarious liability. She asked whether a 2-year old playing outside on her big wheel could be held responsible for crashing into a stranger, and we all agreed…

Evidently, they’re claiming that with this system, its inherent speed and the accuracy of the guided projectile, it’s no longer “just about impossible” to pull off.

Didn't know Louis CK was a Mets fan.

I never knew that Mets front office personnel got to sit in the expensive seats.

“Total control of a child’s physical movements at all times.” ;)

Okay you’re right she’s a pain in the ass literally no matter what I do and I should probably just keep her in jail until she’s 18. (I check with folks around me and make sure she’s not invading their space because I AM NOT A JERK, but probably I’m a liar and actually the biggest jerk of all time.)

Babies and toddlers are disgusting creatures who are probably the main source of such human filth. They are constantly leaking one kind of bodily excrement or another and will happily eat from an unwashed pet dish because they and the animal are best friends. They will play with random animal poop found in play-area…

You can barely see it but she pulls her knees up. We’re not jerks.

Incidentally, this is exactly where airline protocol wants lap babies to be placed during an emergency landing.

Who DOESN’T like tucking in to small spaces? Living room forts, anyone!?!?! Now I’m wishing shopping carts were taller so I could do that the next time the boyfriend and I are grocery shopping.

Ooooh, as a kid, my favorite thing was to ride on the bottom of the shopping cart at the grocery store, under the basket (you know, where I guess you are supposed to put heavy items?). I’d get tucked up in there with a couple of books, and my mom could shop in peace.

I know there is something to this. My buddy works at Rockstar and knows the guy who drew the mountain map. He wont tell what the secret is but assures me its very cryptic. Not impossible to figure out but the pay off might not be worth it...

"These scenes are disturbingly pretty, and we all fucked up when we skipped the 3D version in the theater."

"They burn and rape and rob and stab with absolute impunity, apparently secure in the knowledge that the police won't care..."