That one is for the Jalops of the bunch here at Deadspin, P.G. (Post Gawker)

This stuff just leaves me speechless. Who knew Miami still had a football team?

Arian Foster (back) struggles to get up

During the national anthem I was lying naked on my couch trying to eat corn chips off my chest without using my hands. I hope I didn’t offend anybody.

The ref is lucky he wasn’t raped while unconscous.

What a coincidence, I heard it with a Bob Ross voice in my head

6'5", 270 pound freshman. He can kiss those D-1 dreams goodbye.

The underdog story of how a little known kid from a community college got drafted by the Dallas Cowboys.

You’ve obviously never been to Stillwater.

You mean, over leaving Stillwater or wherever the shit they are in Oklahoma?

The joy the CMU players are feeling is going to be significantly diminished when they realize they have to go back to Mt. Pleasant.

Really? You're doubling down on that shit?

He's a victim!!!!!!

Wesley Willis will always get my stars.

Eh, I'm sure when the big moment comes the Seahawks will probably pass.

Right after I hit “publish” on that thing I thought to myself “do they even make Zima anymore???” I be old.

Too bad he didn’t Double Dare him, and settle this appropriately!

And yet even when basically correct, he still finds a way to be unlikable. That’s talent.

A friend in college once told me how to identify a soccer player at a party thusly - “He’ll be the squirrelly as fuck guy drinking a Zima and hitting on your girlfriend”

The fact that she thought a domestic violence charge would end a career in the NFL is hilarious....