@Miki.Sparkle: :( Did we decide that tattoo snarking is body snarking?

Haha, Trump's stalker holds it together real well, not sounding stalkery at all until the end, when he just blows up his own spot everywhere. Way to go, buddy.

I never really watched the show, but my boyfriend (!) dragged me to see the first movie (!!!!!) and the only part I particularly remember or cared about was when Carrie and Miranda spend New Years and Valentine's Day together. I thought that was really sweet, and I thought about my best friend and the times we've…

I'm a very pale girl, and I get way, way, WAY better results from cheek stain than from powder blush, which -always- makes me look clownish.

@Taegre: Totally, and I think the reverse is true too. If I were invited to an Indian wedding I would feel a little gauche showing up in a sari.

Winning combination of near-stranger, blackout drunk, slimy communal bathroom, rocky forest floor, the smallest penis I have ever personally been made aware to exist, and a condom that fell off and disappeared (see previous) halfway through. Also, the cuts on my hand from the rocky forest floor did get infected,…

@normawilahmina: Also, I think he lost a lot of weight wayback before fitness really existed for fat people, and I think he had unpleasant experiences with fad diets and bad gyms that led him to start doing his own thing.

This recent grad's got plenty of tools (thank you theatre degree) but could really use a check (thank you theatre degree).

@Uhuh.: I think it's that Richard Simmons seemed to genuinely mean it, and when I see Jillian Michaels all I see are fat checks from Biggest Loser, Wii, and scary diet-pill companies.

Cate Blanchett's quote, translated from Highly-Professional-Actorese:

@morninggloria: I WILL KEEP YOU HERE UNTIL FOUR.

As far as social networking site tattoos go, she could have done a lot worse. When Twitter becomes a thing of the past, the tattoo will still be reasonably cute/sensical. I mean, she could have the Myspace or Facebook logo or some shit.

I'm just coming here in my Partisan Television SnarkMobile to say that the whole Last Supper spread? BSG did it better.

I would love to see a smartass reimagining of this musical.

@elizaboo: The show was totally a complete sham. Bret is with that lady and needs those dollaz just like anybody else.

Because of how gracefully she's falling and the fact that no one in-frame is stooping to help her it looks like she just decided to pop a squat and have a cigarette on the steps, a la thewitchandthemoll.

@enidcoleslaw: Agreed...I clearly haven't been shopping at the right grocery stores. Sigh.

@Callinectes: in Britain I hear you can abort tens of thousands of fetuses with a single click of your remote control.

I want to know, then, how this well-spoken, badass smarty-pants could even let that line about "desert moons" and "Sheherezade" come out of her mouth without choking on it.

@SlayBelle: Yo, if that weirds you out, try and find the pap photo of Madonna and Eugene walking together. He's in kitten heels. Slingbacks too, I think. I swear to God.