I scanned this entire article before I actually read it, just looking for the general. Not in the first round, okay, but unable to crack the Top 16? Easily the worst defeat of General Tso’s entire career.

There is a place here in St. Louis (small family owned local chain I guess) that sells “Sygoons” which are pretty frickin’ awesome as a change of pace appetizer. Basically they are crab rangoon filled with buffalo chicken dip instead of the crab/cream cheese mixture.

I know everyone’s tastes vary, but I am amazed that General Tso’s chicken didn’t make anyone’s list.  Or chicken and broccoli.  Those two seem to be the Chinese food all stars that I think almost everyone likes.  

and yet a dish that can only be found in Springfield MO, is on the list.

Picking Orange Chicken then Sweet and Sour Chicken is like drafting two quarterbacks. I deducted points for that.

Pu Pu Platter sounds like cheating to me. Could have like 5 to 10 different foods on there, not sure how I feel about that

How is General Tso’s not on this list anywhere?

I few years ago I took my dad to urgent care where he was diagnosed with gout. About a month later, I got it. As strange as a coincidence as it was, it helped that I knew what the symptoms were and was able to tell the doctor, like Bobby Hill and my father before me:

Here I was all ready to vote for whoever picked General Tso’s and y’all threw a curveball.

It’s certainly fancier than “Pat Sajak fancy”!

Your grandfather was correct. And most athletes have Very Fancy weddings because they are rich, you are correct. 

The only real point of drama in our wedding planning was my parents’ insistence that we have an open bar. Why? “Because Grandpa expects it and he’ll be pissed otherwise.” I give them a lot of grief for the things they choose to put their foot down on, but they were absolutely right about this.

And despite your corporate overlords telling you to stick to sports, I hope Deadspin never does because

and I can’t emphasize this enough

I come to Deadspin BECAUSE YOU DON’T JUST STICK TO SPORTS

So triggered that he posted that same thing verbatim 8 times in this comment section in the course of a few minutes. I think he’s broken. 

Trump killed the guy? Did anyone claim that Obama killed Osama bin Laden?

Go back to Barstool.

“A Democrat slut”

Triggered!