Meth, Nelly? METH?!?!?! Weed’s like nbd, but meth will destroy your body and your life.

Then again I was almost 18 when that disgusting rat-faced demon bird in the picture whizzed past my ear & got stuck on my sleeve. I'm pretty sure I screamed like a little girl & bats aren't THAT huge either. So I really can't talk

Kids....? It’s cute when they’re afraid of the little silly stuff. If she’s in her early 20’s & screaming at the top of her lungs while pulling a ridiculous face & filming herself THEN it's time to reign it in lol

I hate that life is so goddamn unfair. Rest in peace, badass lady.

Your mom is a BOSS.

Aristurtle

I examine objects like a fucking boss.

“one of my parents, who will remain anonymous (it’s my mother), who once admitted that when our pacifiers fell out she’d pop them in her own mouth right quick and them stick them back in ours.”

I mean...am I the only one not clutching my pearls about this? Yeah, I wouldn’t do it to another kid, but is it really the end of the world? Plus, isn’t the handle in his mouth?

I have been a nanny for 12 years. I have nine nieces and nephews. If you’re around a baby for ten minutes and the grossest thing that ends up in your mouth is a binky, it’s a good day.

Yes, this exactly. I keep saying that here (and in “real” life.) I think that, despite her irritating persona, she’s probably a good mother.

I'm white, but that doesn't look like blackface to me...?

Looks like it's time to stop shuffling this book to the bottom of my Read Pile.

My favorite Michael Jackson story happens right after 9/11. Apparently MJ was supposed to play MSG (?) on 9/11. So his show is cancelled. He has to flee NYC. So Elizabeth Taylor, Marlon Brando and MJ are in a rented car leaving NYC. I can't even imagine who drove.

I bet he thought he could do voices, but really just sounded like himself.

I did that back in the day too!

Can't wait for her to write a song about dating a DJ. It will be phenomenal.

Calvin Harris ft. Taylor Swift, "Sorry (2006)"