Crush your enemies. See them driven before you. Hear the lamentations of their women.

I’ve heard that getting hit in the helmet can really mess with your Schwartz.

Is that a Land ROVER..?

Because only plebs have their merges signaled with ungloved hands.

I’m curious how Goodell will respond. On the one hand, he hates celebrations, on the other, the League likes to look the other way when players are getting their bells rung.

Yes, that’s precisely why.

User name checks out, so I’ll take your word for it.

What is this my birthday? Okay who at Kotaku is reading my dream journal?

“Because he’s a GLORY BOY who doesn’t know how to WRAP THE FUCK UP.”

“That’s a nice souvenir you got for yourself, but I have no way of authenticating the signature. I guess I’d give you like fifty bucks.

this is so great most kids these days are just destroyed by diabetes

I love the growth of this comment.

1) They should have flagged Master Shake for targeting.

How is this a thing? Aren’t those grown men in those suits? How do I become a part of this?

Why Your Kid Sucks, by Drew Magary in a horse costume.