No, that’s called getting the room you paid for. Renting a hotel room isn’t free.

Sorry that my failed one night stand was told with such subtle humor that it failed to land for you specifically. Thanks for the tip.

Cool. Meanwhile Jon Gruden woke up at 3am to trade away the his starting offensive line for a 4th round pick and some frozen Trump Steaks.

I believe they covered this in the documentary Minority Report.

Yes, Chris. We all know that guy. But looking objectively, the guy is a marginal NFL quarterback under the best circumstances. Yeah, sure, he had some success and even pulled off some heroics in the playoffs, when it counts the most. But he comes with so much baggage - the kneeling, the outsized media attention, the…

[just the dumbest possible voice] “Well, which is it Lazaro? Do you need more wax for your moustache?”

[even dumber voice] “I bet you are like sooooooooooooooooooooo cool in real life, aren’t you? Do you distill you own whiskey or vodka?”

[in a real stupid voice] “When you choose to play in the NFL, you are choosing all the risks that go with the reward of being on the biggest (American) football stage in the world.”

There isn’t a list of board members on their website, but there is a ‘List of Permanently Illegible Members’: https://usagym.org/pages/aboutus/pages/permanently_ineligible_members.html

I guarantee this guy had to use a calculator to figure out those completion percentages.

I hope Dale Jr punches Felger in the mouth, and tells him to keep his daddy’s name out of it. I know he probably won’t, but a man can dream.

*busts into room*
“Did somebody say percs?!?!”
~Jim Irsay

“Truther is a moronic pejorative.”

“Adrian Peterson has been demoted from Saint to Cardinal.”

If you want to be like Rick then you have already failed at being like Rick.

This statement is why the modern liberal movement is just as intellectually bankrupt as the conservatives. “People who disagree with me obviously are of low intelligence and shouldn’t count.”

So LAPD’s are real life stormtroopers?

Did you guys even watch the video? There was someone merging into the road at that exact moment. There was no opportunity for him to merge right without changing his rate of speed (cruise control).

I don’t know exactly how much I would pay for a live and unplugged Weird Al album, but it likely is far more than I could ever publicly admit.

“These players are so sensitive...” Stephen A. scoffs before threatening an NBA player who said he wouldn’t talk to him.