If they cut out all the shit with the shark in this version and actually include an ending instead of just having the movie stop, then maybe we can talk.

I thought the case was gonna be John Belushi's corpse.

Wait, you're not my dad, you're Hitler!

Idea for a film: Jason Mewes in a remake of THE BRAIN THAT WOULDN'T DIE.

At least LaBute is only embarrassing himself on Internet comment sections and not Fox News.

The Pigeon Lady from HOME ALONE 2?

Fun fact: THAT AWKWARD MOMENT was actually at one point an adaptation of Harold Pinter's THE CARETAKER. Funny how development changes a script.

Money. That's why they call it money.

Don't you dare drag Tilda into this mess! She was sleeping in a glass box back when Sheepy LaButtfuck was barely a turd poking out of his daddy's ass!

In other words…Joaquin Phoenix.

The Margaritaville guy?

Next on Fox Business: Is Raymond Briggs' THE SNOWMAN really a manual for Communists? Then we'll discuss how ONE FISH, TWO FISH, RED FISH, BLUE FISH illustrates Dr. Seuss' championing of the gay agenda. Also: how "Row Row Row Your Boat" calls for dismantling Christianity, how Mister Rogers condoned pedophilia, and how…

“I feel like I’ve got a good handle on what’s funny." Rob Schneider
"I feel like I've got a good handle on how to run a country." George W. Bush
"I feel like I've got a good handle on what's art." Shia LaBeouf

FEGELEIN!!!

You think we can get in touch with William H. Macy and stage some kind of intervention?

See "jokes that will not be made during Ellen DeGeneres' monologue this year".

Funny how Voight and David Mamet bitch about how Republicans are being treated like supposed Communists were in the McCarthy era and are ostracized because of their opinions. Yet Voight just wins a Golden Globe, and Mamet's doing a new movie and miniseries and can get any shit he writes produced on Broadway the minute…

What, SPIDER-MAN doesn't count for anything? Wait a minute—WHAT THE FUCK AM I SAYING?!?

If Woody Allen was getting a Father of the Year award, THEN Ronan Farrow can make a case. But no, it was for his movies. All Ronan Farrow was doing was sticking his balls into the champagne.

You sold out people for their political beliefs because of your very rational fears? BOO!!!