If it costs as much per pill as Viagra, that’s another reason it won’t be very effective.

Airport Employee over the PA: We need some passenger assistance, please. We have a man here who appears to be suffering from amnesia. He’s asking us who he is.

I have determined through years of experimentation that I need three or four regular tape measures (even more utility knives) to know where at least one of them is at all times. Seems like this advance is going to cost me a lot!

I wonder how the recent surge in gas prices is affecting those two infamous stations near S. Semoran Blvd by the airport in Orlando FL.

I once ordered a blueberry muffin in a diner and got exactly that, one muffin with one blueberry.  I noted it as an example of truth in advertising and ate it with butter, but without complaint.

You want to eat the broccoli BEFORE the florets turn yellow. Don’t plant cukes unless you have friends, a lot of friends. I have found red and green peppers easy enough to grow. Peas need support and die the first day the temperature hits 90, but otherwise are easy, and good to eat. 

If nobody can prove that God does exist, or that god doesn’t exist, doesn’t that make atheism a faith-based belief too?

Be careful what you wish for.  Humanity  might be working on blowing this one up right now.

I was going to suggest they forgot to charge for Scotchgarde, but I see the Xzilon application includes something similar, so never mind.

Where I live, installing the dealership vanity-plate surround doesn’t cost extra.  Leaving it off (or removing it) is what they charge extra for.

You know that used-car prices are out of hand. This just emphasizes that.

This is what puzzles me about data collection. Google, on my phone, but not on my laptop, keeps telling me they are legally required to acquire my date of birth. First, if they do legally need it, how come they only ask on my phone, and how come they keep allowing me to use Google on my phone, although I haven’t…

I borrowed a Volare company car for a business trip.  When I bought it back, I remarked that while a free car was pretty great, if that car was assigned to me permanently, I’d never put any oil in it.

Why then, are there so many car ads on TV?

If I understand correctly, if you can use the plane again, it’s a great landing.  So, not a great landing.

His name is still all over social anti-social, and unsocial media. I guess he really didn’t need a PR department.

If you want your kids to achieve the maximum return on investment in those loose teeth, have them lose the teeth at grandma’s  house, not at home.

Bless you for doing the work of any and all deities.

How did this happen?  Didn’t the snake have to go through gate security?  Didn’t it have to wear a mask while in the cabin?  All the passengers do.

Anyone who is that anal retentive about toilet paper probably doesn’t use any toilet paper at all.