I own a 13-year-old pickup truck. Recently, I received a mailer from a dealer for that brand, telling me it could take my old vehicle off my hands, put me in a new one, AND reduce my monthly payment.

“B.J. Thomas, the Grammy-winning songwriter behind “Raindrops Keep Fallin’ on My Head” and “Hooked on a Feeling,” died at home in Texas on Sunday. He was 78"

Where I live, you need a decibel meter to enforce most noise complaints. I can shout loudly enough to peak the meter above the limit, when measured from the required distance, but I can’t do it for very long and not many people can do it at all.

I got my second shot almost three months ago.  Where’s my prize?

It might work.  They only have to convince one juror in twelve.

When I was 16, to be kind, my home life was tumultuous. Without telling her what was going on, I depended on my 15-year-old girlfriend for virtually all of the stability in my life. If I kept from her what was disturbing me, I certainly wouldn’t tell these yutzes, especially in a group setting

I’ve found a few anti-vax t-shirts, but how come there isn’t one that says, “Save the COVID virus?”

It’s a little-known fact, but the rapture happened on Tuesday of this week (the 25th). However nobody was judged devout enough to go directly to heaven, so the event passed unnoticed.

“It looks like the all-American cross country road trip will remain a financial shit-show for the foreseeable future.”

Since I got my two shots, I’ve wanted to win a Nobel Peace Prize, fool around first, and then get divorced.

Daily commute, hilly city, manual transmission.  Pick two out of three and get back to me.

Not that it will ever be my concern, but I wouldn’t really want a car that screams, “I’m rich!” unless it also screamed, “and you can’t catch me!”  Of course, if you live in a congested area, nothing screams “and you can’t catch me,” so I guess it counts me out.

Sometimes, rare doesn’t mean valuable, it means undesirable.  

I think the dude needs help. Wasn’t it Lilly Tomlin who asked in one of her Broadway shows—Why is it when we talk to God it’s called praying, but when God talks to us it’s called schizophrenia?

I knew a guy once who got arrested during a wedding reception for putting it in when he should have been shaking it all about.

I’m betting this will be a slide show tomorrow.

Is this a public or private school? I couldn’t tell from quickly skimming its website. And if it’s private, is it a religious school? If it is a private, religious school, I still disapprove of the editing, but one would expect it. No matter how prudish you are, I don’t see why the picture shown above of of Riley…

While driving this, you will find yourself accompanied by a police escort more often than the average motorist.  But it doesn’t matter if the cop can catch you, because as we used to say back in the day, “Nobody can outrun Motorola.”

How about after it’s cooked?  Is it okay then?

How is it fake news if it’s true?  Or, is true the definition of fake news?