Matt Gerardi’s choice is the only one that gave me pause, because the way the word ALIEN comes into view, line by line, is absolutely terrifying. But the right answer is Shadow of the Vampire. Gorgeous and completely unsettling.

the retirement of offensive lineman Richie Incognito

That Vicar Amelia is fabulous. I would pay for that person to scare the shit out of trick-or-treaters coming to my house on Halloween, bonus if they play the scream.

Some

Some

How much more dark could these crimes be? The answer is none. None more dark.

No, he’s saying Ingram left his wallet in El Segundo and had to go back to pick it up.

For every good joke, there’s an equal and opposite joke.

he knows he could have found a job with his physics degree.

Apparently Tristan dumped another pregnant girlfriend to get with Khloe, so at least he’s consistent.

I only love my Fortnite and my momma, I’m sorry

This just in: the NFL is the absolute worst.

I looooove “Take a Bow,” but I would have placed it elsewhere on the album. After the chill electronica vibe of “Sanctuary” and “Bedtime Story,” it just feels too whiplashy to go back to the 90's R&B vibe.

So many valid answers...

here’s me, feeling bad that a team with a shitty fanbase probably won’t have a chance this to win their eighteenth NBA title this year

Lebron: “3 seed, 4 seed, Johnny Appleseed, Joel Embiid. Don’t matter. Cavs in 6.”