I sound like I know what the fuck I want and have no reason to put up with what I don’t like.

ALL FEMALES CHEAT. That’s a FACT.

Hooray! Victim blaming! It works with men being abused, too!

One of the most liberating things I learned as a young chap in the world of dating was to discover I could break it off, both verbally and emotionally, with girls at the drop of a hat as soon as I saw something I wasn’t ok with.

Referring to women as “females” definitely helps your credibility here...

Captain Throwrug needs to man the fuck up like five years ago. This is why God invented masturbation, so you can avoid these awful decisions.

Nobody deserves to be abused.

Part of how emotional (and physical) abusers get away with what they do is mind-fucking their victims and their emotions so hard they start to wonder if maybe they’re crazy for thinking there’s a problem.

How does someone write a letter like that without already buying a plane ticket?

My thoughts exactly. Add up the damage repair, subtract it from the value of the driveline and it’s worth him paying for the tow to my shop. And scrapping the leftovers for me after I pillage the carcass. And her phone number - obviously a passionate woman.

Olympoo Games

Rio Olympics logo: six interlocked ring(worm)s

The only thing dirtier than the water

The IOC would feel really bad about this, but in their defense, the bribes were exceptionally large.

Only in that sandy brown color.

His response matches the car. Did he have a Bad Boy club tank on?

No, it’s just most of them are looking to get into fights outside a 7-11.

As a former Nissan owner... no amount of cool car is ever going to make me walk back into a Nissan dealership. Which is unfortunate, because they’re the only Japanese auto maker I have any respect for in terms of design.

Commas do more than just save lives...