As a designer I am super stoked to be able to use the new retouching tools to make people look like a smiling Helen Mirren.

I was offered, and accepted, $75 for a ten year old Ford Contour that wouldn’t start.

This is a sham, and mockery of journalistic integrity, and a travesty of justice. A shamockesty™ if you will. I never thought I’d see the day when Deadspin would copy and paste an entire article from ESPN(comments and all) and call it their own.

@BillSimmons

Let’s nip this one in the bud: filming opposing teams’ sidelines was only legal from designated areas in the stadium, and the Patriots’ tapes were filmed from outside those areas. So argue over how big a violation it was, but it was technically illegal the whole time.

“If the ref didn’t want to be assaulted, he shouldn’t have been in that situation. Or dressed that way.”

Thus began the stigmatization of motorcycles in general, and Harleys in particular

Thus began the stigmatization of motorcycles in general, and Harleys in particular. It always puzzled me that it took Honda to revitalize bikes in the US. Ford, Chevy and/or AMC not stepping up in the mid ‘60’s with an alternative ‘Proudly American’ 2 wheeler has always struck me as a seriously missed opportunity.…

Hopefully those John Jay kids will be brought to Justice.

You know, a weird thought just occurred to me: maybe, and hear me out on this one, but maybe they take high school football too seriously in Texas.

Are we sure this isn’t actually Bill Simmons’ Dad?

He wants Tim Tebow over a four-time Super Bowl champion.

I can only imagine this moron radio host’s other opinions.

Funny thing is, despite the fact Brady’s father comes off as biased and confrontational, he’s not wrong - the NFL had no proof beyond some slightly deflated footballs from BOTH teams and some texts from a couple of stooges that may or may not have been taken out of context. Also, for the record I do appreciate the…

“When Michelle and I came into office....”

They call them scalpers to honor them.

The ability to steal my heart.

here comes a new challenger ...

I have laced these citruses with acid mushrooms. Your bat will become your mother. The ball will become a 95mph disembodied tongue and we, the mighty Cubs, will ride surfboards made of light into the True Truth that lies at the center of the Universe. We will also miss the playoffs, but we won’t know it because we are…

No smarmy joke here—I just want to compliment Barry on his restraint and for practicing some actual journalism on this one.