But you gloss over the major plot point: why does Ben Gazzara’s even care that the Double Deuce gets cleaned up? Because it competes with the only other nightclub around - his. He’s afraid an “upscale Double Deuce” will cost him business, so he uses his army of goons to keep the Double Deuce a violent dive bar.

The “male lead”? Please tell me how you have no idea who Bill Hader is.

Amy Schumer falls into the sometimes hot / sometimes not category where I find Emma Stone and Anna Kendrick. Just something about that face. It reminds me of Miss Piggy from the Muppets movies I used to watch as a kid.

nice....

NICE!!!!

In defense of Will Allen, he was completely misinformed as to the nature of this plot. He assumed this was a ploy against his arch-nemesis Fonzi, to get back at him for smooching the girl of whom Allen had been going steady with.

NICE

nice

Thank you. This is precisely how I feel about GSAW. Everything about its release is fishy and I don’t want to participate in it. The manuscript has been around for a very long time. If Harper Lee had wanted it published, she would have done it by now.

Wow.

I should have gotten pepperoni, to use as a point of meat-reference in analyzing the dog bites, but for some damn reason I went with pineapple.

if germany couldn’t get across the back line, you think a pizza guy is?

Whoever ordered those pies must be a real pizza work.

I just hope that after all this DeAndre is able to move into a community with a bigger gate.

“...or if he wanted to make the date fun, take them to Dallas for a night out.”

And don’t let me stop you from getting the king. I forget some apartments and houses are big enough to fit them, but for love of everything that’s holy, get the biggest bed you possibly can and never, ever, ever get a full/double.

When choosing a mattress, spring for the queen. I know sometimes it sounds like a full will be better (you can fit more stuff!) and they’re always a little cheaper and sure it’s fun to be super cuddly for a few nights, but you do not want to be the guy who has the bed that’s impossible to sleep in. You will not regret…

10:21 am BREAKING Cuban now driving through downtown San Antonio, looking for the place in the Mercado for fresh chorizo. CORRECTION: He is looking for Mexican sausage. CORRECTION TO THE CORRECTION: My sources are telling me chorizo IS Mexican sausage and that tweeting about sausage reveals subconscious homosexual…

The joke will be on them when Mark Cuban uses his plane-mounted laser to fill the house with popcorn.