No, but the countless other examples I have kind of do.

"No dykes allowed! Except for those we have deemed NOT dykes, you shall be the ultimate dykes!"

I've worked in a bunch of places that sells smokes/liquor, and as a person who never leaves the house without ID, I'm flabbergasted at people who are under 30 who do. Oh! Good story, though. I had to card a 95-year old woman a while ago because she was buying a carton of smokes with a credit card (store policy) and…

White sushi patrons are kind of a nightmare. I was at a popular sushi-train restaurant with my friend, and we watched this woman next to us a) send back something because it was uncooked (????) and b) use, and I'm not kidding, an entire cup of soy sauce for like, maybe two rolls. You obviously hate the taste of sushi…

Whenever I'd have to go get change at the bank, I was forced to stare at a wall festooned with pink wallets, teddy bears, hand-towels, etc., all of which were purported to donate some menial percentage of the purchase to breast cancer research. Aside from the obvious issues that a lot of these foundations have, I'm…

This reads exactly like prison letters I used to get from a friend, except yours had more sex and less "heart attacks over meatballs", which was a real thing that happened.

I'm inching towards thirty and I've never heard of a chicken fried steak before. Honestly, if I saw it on a menu, I'd expect a gigantic chicken nugget, but I can't say I'd be totally sad to get a breaded and fried steak.

"Can I have thing without any of the basic elements of said thing? Also, can you prepare it in a way that makes it nothing like any possible existing variation of aforementioned thing? Also, bring me ketchup. I like putting it on stuff that doesn't demand ketchup."

I moved out East with my partner and we kept our painful Western Canadian accents this whole time. "Fer sher, walkin ta tha maaall."

I should have clarified: all this place sold was breakfast. Not only that, but the regional definition of that kind of steak in the area was that rare steak was not only practically blue, but we had local laws restricting the preparation of steaks done in blue/rare style. Basically, what people wanted was blue steaks…

My ex worked in a breakfast diner for years, and the orders that would show up were very, very creative. "Rare steak, no blood", "Breakfast bagel, no bread (so... eggs and bacon?)", someone who claimed a gluten allergy and wanted her burger served with a flour wrap, etc. The best part is when I'd go to visit him and I…

Unless things do really well, we don't get them in Canukistan. So, Americans, I urge you to eat as many of these as possible so that I might get a try at this flawless abomination.

No joke, I still have nightmares about those little fuckers. I used to live in a weird seven-person commune... thing, and the girl next to me would never clean and would complain that bedbugs used to crawl out of her laptop at night. Whenever I'd go downtown to the library, tons of them would scuttle out of my jacket…

I hate Daenerys' chapters, but because I dislike her so much as a character that it's become one of those things, "UGH. Did you hear that jerk chewing? He chews like an asshole. I hope he DIES." I loved Sansa's chapters, especially the later ones, but honestly the last season of the show fucked that up after that…

Great. Now I'll never be able to buy subway tokens ever again without giggling.

Uhm, not quite the same thing, but I worked in a pet supply store and we stopped leaving treats on the counter after some guy sampled the freeze-dried cheddar puffs meant to intice picky dogs. Apparently they were awesome, though!

OH MY GOD. I used to work in a pet supply store, and every winter I was delighted because that meant "new dog boot season", which is where new dogs had to come into to get fitted for little booties and they always did that flailing walk. My fave.

Oh, my God. :( Ugh, that's gross and terrible. I'm sorry.

The idea of a little boy doting over a Glo-Worm in a onesie is so cute that I stopped breathing for a few seconds. Night made!

It's sad that someone would resort to forcing someone else into re-evaluating their self-worth just to get noticed. The only messages I've replied to on OKC (and that have led to dates) are playful albeit nonsexual ones that are like, "Oh, I like your writing style," or something. Every time I get obvious negging…