The first thing I used Google Assistant for was to search how to disable Google Assistant and go back to Google Now. Quite literally every change Google has made since 5.0 has been obnoxious, limiting, annoying, or painful (Material White, fuck you and whatever hellspawn dreamt you up).

Try as I might, I can’t seem to think of a better one than, “Punch a Nazi”.

Bit of a brute-force kludge, but a clever, effective one.

1) DARK. FUCKING. THEME. OPTION. Every menu, every app, every screen. Fuck your Material White blinding bullshit design philosophy right in Ajit Pai’s bucktoothed nostril, Google.
2) Massive battery life (4,000+ mAh minimum)
3) Headphone jack (Brave” is code for “fucking stupid”, apparently)
4) Hi-res camera that can…

Yeah, call me back when I can have something like a Karen, a Friday, or a Jarvis a la Marvel’s Stark Enterprises. Till then I can’t be arsed. Using stock Android, you have to tweak six settings to even get an accent on your Google Voice responses, and most of them suck ass.

Google, if I want my voice assistant to sound…

Two shitholes from my state. A mostly rural state where high-speed internet is already hard enough to come by. Mother fuck I’m tired of being the Midwest’s Florida.

No one that fuck-ugly should ever look that smug. He looks like he tried to give a blowjob to a vacuum cleaner. He looks like Goofy’s bald gimp cousin. He looks like a cartoon immediately after it’s smacked in the face with a fridge door. He’s on the same level of obnoxious-looking as that Shkreli prick, but at least…

*shrug* I like it. Course I used to be a goth. and I hate Christmas smarmy. And it ain’t piss-and-gold colored like everything else there.

If you’re going to claim “financial loss”, then yes, you have to verify the age of your users. That’s not an opinion, it’s fact: You cannot contractually obligate a minor or that minor’s parents, because minors cannot enter contracts.

Dude, if you’re gonna copy-paste Wikipedia, at least remove the footnotes, or go whole-hog and actually copy the source links directly. This half-ass shit has got to go.

I’m not saying you’re wrong, just that your response was really sloppy.

He fucked Bob Taft, who was his first love, in a hayloft? Punctuation, Billy-boy: It’s important.

God fucking damnit. How does this Tangerine Tom Green repeatedly pick the absolute fucking worst person for every fucking job?

He’s a minor. Meaning he can’t be liable for any contract. You can’t sue a 14-year-old, “lying” or not. And no, his parents aren’t contractually liable either. This is why most companies require a credit card in your name to activate—if they didn’t have anything like that, it’s their loss.

To be honest, I didn’t care about a sequel as early as leaving the theater in the first place. Yes, it was pretty, but it was mind-numbingly derivative, predictable, and vapid. Other than “Ooh, 3D”, there really wasn’t much to care about.

Fine, “ephebophile”. It’s still illegal. 

And honestly pretending that the cut-off for “paedophilia” is precisely the 13/14 age line completely ignores that people don’t snap from wholly children to wholly teenagers in a second. It’s not a binary change, it’s a gradual process.

You picked a strange hill to die on,…

My city water has given every male pet owned by myself an friends struvite crystals, and my male friends (myself included) kidney stones. So much so that I had to find a new home for my tabby, he was getting sick every month.

Friend had a healthy male cat for three years. Moved into the city, crystals. Moved back home…

They’re not “against it”. They’re laughing at self-destructive stupid people perfectly willing to effectively throw their money away in a sad protest that no one will take seriously and will elicit no changes they wish to happen.

Wow, Conservatives, you’re 100% right. This Liberal is furious, right-e-o, gee wiz.

It’d make me even more upset if you, purely out of spite, set your house ablaze to protest solar power or homeowner’s taxes, or trashed your car to protest emissions standards, or something. Why, I bet you’d get one of us Commie Libs to …

DARK THEME! Holy shit, finally! Google’s been whitening up every damned menu version after version—the black and dark of 4.0 is why I switched from Apple in the first place. Let’s hope this isn’t god-awful...

PS—To get rid of those obnoxious notifications, I installed the “Hide ‘Running In the Background’ Notification”…

We’ve sold Gothika lenses at our local costume shop for 12+ years. They’ve never presented any problems from thousands of pairs sold. The issue is making certain the lenses are quality. Buying from a local shop isn’t enough, you have to check the brand itself out. To order these lenses online requires a script, but…