This sentence is auditory heresy, yet I’m unusually impressed.

I grew up a first-gen Californian to a pair of New York Jews and, like most, worshiped at the alter of Nathan’s Famous, which you could mercifully find at the local Vons (albeit sans natural casing, which significantly diminishes the experience). Hebrew National? Close, but no cigar. Ball Park? Meh. Oscar Meyer? Fuck…

Why. Why are they putting this vampire bat on the air? What could possibly be gleaned from any of this. He’s a hired bullshitter. His boss is The Supreme Bullshitter. This isn’t even worth the obvious “gotcha” motive behind ABC’s booking. Trump’s hate-watching this shit anyway, why even give him the slightest bit of…

Yes, keep digging your grave, you orange fuck! DO IT!

Well, at least you can take comfort that your incredibly shitty take is not tainted by the insidious, nicotine-y death-swaddle of Big Tobacco!

“As far as I am concerned, she is no longer Speaker of the House.”

Hey GCU, this is completely unrelated to this thread, and I apologize for singling you out for solicitation...would you mind briefly explaining the “STFU Tomato”/”Tomatoface”, etc. thing to me? I’m genuinely out of the loop and I can’t find a decent explanation elsewhere. Thanks!

1.) The fuck is this shitty campfire lighting on Comey? Come on, production!

I’m sure either is immediately preceded with him screaming “blow that piece of junk OUT OF THE SKY!!”

Who hurt you?

To be fair, Paul the Wine Guy was also Deathstalker (III), so who could blame her?

The (married-in) apple doesn’t fall far from the tree:

“He has a FAMILY, dammit!”

Lorne is truly the Vince McMahon of sketch comedy.

I was about to say something like “Netflix would never...”, but then I remembered they still have Louis C.K. on there. So, yeah.

I come only to make aware that this comment has 69 stars, and is therefore good.

So...The Bachelor and Bachelor in Paradise?

McCain-McLargehuge would have been a WAY better 2008 ticket.

How’s that hope-y, one-man-one-woman-y stuff goin’ for ya, Sarah?

He really is a misshapen, Lovecraftian creature of the 80's, isn’t he? It takes a really specific kind of throwback NY douche to act like this and think it’s charming.