Teenagers are mostly dicks.

Can we PLEASE focus on the positive here? Her wish came true!

I think she had to apologize later.

These are usually giveaways to the rich. Nice to see an msrp cap.

I wanna see what happened to the wheel and tire after it fell off. I’m sure it put a dent in something.

This is a good take. Now I trust absolutely none of the words.

...one traveler said he’d witnessed a fellow passenger being arrested for sneaking into a first-class seat shortly after landing.

Jesus, I thought Jezebel was cunty.

My standards are already low.

As soft as an average child is? (I’m assuming U.S.)

/curtsy

So instead of discussing the root of the claim and whether there’s any truth to it, the commentariot instead just wishes someone would murder this guy.

No. Nobody wants to see chubs in commercials.

Why is she already in shape at the start of the commercial?

“$0.03 Cents”?!!!

Fuck everyone involved in this story. Fucking morons. 

“Cherry Poppins”

I want to see someone open this door with a pair of gloves/mittens on.

Two lane crossovers.  Shouldn’t there be one, or three? (Or five, or seven, or... any odd number?)

I never lost sight of the fact that I got to write about basically whatever I wanted, no matter how insane, every single day.