You're obviously lying, anyone can see that!

The dream is dead.

That will make great dinner party conversation. We'll read the letters at the dinner table.

Kevin's having his vasectomy reversed.

I was handcuffed to the bed…in my underwear…where I remained.

Haven't we had this conversation before?

It never ends, this present stuff!

I had no idea you had this kind of money!

What is Tungsten, or Wolfram?

♫Master of the house,
Doling out the charm,
Ready with a handshake and an open palm.♫

Alright! That's it for me. Goodnight everybody!

Oh noooo. I'm so sorry. It's the "Moops." The correct answer is, "the Moops."

If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right.

It must take a really, really big zit to kill a man!

Jon Voight's car.

You know, it is so sad - all your knowledge of high culture comes from Bugs Bunny cartoons.

I think I deserve an explanation.

It's so far out, it smacks of desperation. The whole party, everyone's gonna be saying to me, "You came all the way out from Manhattan for this?"

Your mother must be very proud of you.

Who says you gotta have a story? Remember when we were waiting for that table in that Chinese restaurant that time? That could be a TV show.