They are absolutely the same kind of dogs that we take as pets here.

I’d actually join if that was the case. Nothing would make me happier than not dealing with “uhh so hey lol” from 20something boys.

I mean, scenario B is not like super unlikely...

I gotta tell you, these marzipan updates are giving me life right now. Thank you.

Perhaps when I have my rage stroke and fall to the floor, I can retrieve them for you.

“Today, it was my great honor to proclaim January 15, 2018, as Martin Luther King Jr., Federal Holiday. I encourage all Americans to observe this day with appropriate civic, community, and service activities in honor of Dr. King’s life and legacy.”

Where to begin?

Guys - Amazon. I just paid $9 for 25 tests. And they totally turned with both my pregnancies like day 1. They are not fancy. They do not have curved handles or soothing colors or digital outputs (can people really not read “1 line” vs “2 lines”??). They are hella cheap. They work hella good. #psa

I was planning On a trip to the UK, but I might have to switch to Norway. Hipster dogs on a bus sounds way better.

Dogs on the bus sounds delightful! i’m picturing them queuing up patiently while wearing ties. Perhaps they need a wacky sidekick(a duck?)

Marzipan says “I loooove you” Henri frantically blinks “Help me” in morse code...

That photo is kiiiiiilllling me with laughter. This will be my morning self-evaluation question now: “How am I today? Am I Marzipan, or am I Henri?”

My daily routine involves listening to the prior night’s MSNBC lineup. Once your lunatic president sent his “my dick is bigger” tweet,that pretty much devoured the news cycle.

😌 I was on the verge of ‘correcting’ you.

AND WHERE IS THE ONE FOR CLARENCE FUCKING THOMAS

Fixed that for you.

Fuck this woman. Fuck fuck fuck this woman.

“I believe you are a child. / right now you need to be (...) nutting all over the place.”