Sort of. I’m talking about someone better for them. Even I get tired of me

How did someone write that sentence and then not immediately delete the whole article and find a new career?

And what if us menz aren’t so much falling to our knees in your gaze but falling because we’re clumsy/in the early stages of ALS?

I'm looking for a goddess. Preferably one with similar taste in television. Ideally one who can introduce me to television programs that I would enjoy but don't know exist yet. Will you be the one?

Not to mention it throws this sage advice right out he window:

Serious question? How does anyone date anyone? I've dated girls for long periods and even I don't get it. The way I see it, every single human being has a ton of people who would date them and even marry them if given the chance. Surely at least some of them will be better than me. So every time I'm with someone I…

The older I get the faster life seems to go

Megan Fox had two kids during her period of peak hotness/Hollywood’s interest? With the guy from Beverly Hills 90210? What the fuck, girl?

11 years? Did he start dating her when she was 14? Or am I even older than I thought I was?

I mean that'd be awesome but it won't happen

I agree with everything you’ve written apart from the second sentence. The government will and should always maintain some secrecy, which entails punishing anyone with a security clearance who dumps classified documents on the Internet. The rub is that sometimes classified documents should be made available for…

Counter point: his relationship with Taylor Swift proves that you can be just friends with the girl you’re pining over without it being a bad thing, except for when he is alone and sobs loudly into his pillow

Most important thing you need to know:

God that's depressing

Imagine how far I’d go if I had even an eighth of trump’s self-regard. I'd probably be managing this dominos instead of delivering for it

it is customary to address each other with “heyy bitch”

Now, now. Faking cancer is more histrionic personality disorder

I forgot about this post and without rereading the article have no idea why I made it. I think I made that way because I support unlimited access to abortion but also think late term abortions are horrific and was trying to get both those things across and did a poor job.

It absolutely does

I don't know why people keep assuming I want my friends to cheat on their fiancés. Like that would be beyond fucked up