I'd prefer a bunch of Vines.

… sawrry

JUDAS!

Stunning. The way he walks around and then adjusts that tie says everything.

USA / USA / $6.99 carryout / Every day!

The Internet of Breakable Things

Gender-flip Cable.

Thanks to product placement deals, she'll be red white & blue and shot at 45 degree angles.

They're all too dainty. Get the Haywire lady.

What is the Monster High mascot?

Just fireproof your gutters, then set the leaves on fire when it's dry. Easy.

I've never voted for a Republican POTUS candidate, but I'll keep pretending I'm undecided until someone writes a song I really love.

I empty a can of that beard balm into a trough full of water from my favorite pond and I take a bath in it. Then I eat the can.