This is why I’ve never dated a Khardashian

Listen, I didn’t vote for Trump and I dislike his leadership style, but let’s be clear about one thing. The President didn’t get the Chief killed no matter how you dress it. There were several layers of leaders doing risk assessment and mission prioritization between those two things. The President isn’t the guy…

Fuck you jalopnik. Keep your political views to yourself. You dickheads assuming you know an ounce of shit about veterans is a disgrace.

I look forward to seeing him get roasted over and over again in a Cowboys uniform for $8mil next season.

Ranadive: Hey DeMarcus, what do you think about a trade for Buddy Hield?

When you raise your voice, it’s always good to remember where you are sitting.

Going to live on d so I can make terrible jokes about “the d” for the rest of my life until I die on the trip there.

Scott Boras looks like the middle photo of an animorph between a young Rush Limbaugh and a current Barry Switzer.

I’m not sure about the 3:30 and 7:00 ones, but an alarm going off at 5am is pretty standard in most Alabama buildings and households. It’s used to remind you to have your sister go back to her own bed before Pa wakes up to feed the chickens.

Also amazing is Jusuf Nurkic’s massive father who’s a policeman and reportedly got Jusuf discovered when an agent read a story in the local paper about him beating up some drunkards:

I know you kid but I am not a nuggets fan and I really like Murray’s game and jokic is already pretty good.

Nuggets analysis from a Denver fan that I know all of you will care about:

I’m not sure, but sharing a 3 bedroom apartment with bro and his gf doesn’t cross it.

I feel like there are companies that are missing out on obvious opportunities with these patch advertisements.

Orgeron: YAYAYAYAYAAAAAAAAAAAYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YAAAAAAAAAA FOOBAW.

Your dad would be proud at what an insufferable fuck you’ve grown into. Good to know you’re the only person who’s ever suffered loss in the world.

Even their booing of Goodell is tainted. Everyone else hates him because of bullshit like punishing weed worse than domestic violence, covering up CTE, or arbitrary bullshit like punishing players for celebrating or wearing the wrong shoes.

It’s also the correct one. If you don’t need a stretcher and a medical team to stabilise you before moving, you limp your ass to the sideline and take 30 seconds off the clock…

As a Falcons fan, this will now bug me to my grave. Julio’s catch should have gone down as an incredible, game-sealing grab. We run it 3 times from there, kick the field goal, and all get to laugh about how close the Pats got

I, for one, am glad Boston sports fans have something to be happy about today.