“Mediocre Marksmanship and Magical Negroes” is the name for my all dwarf Paul Anka cover band.

I would pay to watch Idris Elba do anything, including my girlfriend. As soon as they announced his casting I got super excited to see his take on this role. The trailers had me so amped up with his voiceover. I’m still going to see this, I am just going into it knowing the film (and not him or McConaughey) are going…

Which is why I got so excited on the casting and listening to Idris recite the Gunslinger Oath. He’s got the chops to give that character something really great, but obviously script committee decided to cut away so much of what makes Roland who he is, Elba had nothing to work with and did what he could.

Communists. Watermelon love is universal by all right thinking carbon based life forms.

WATERMELON IS PERFECT THE WAY IT IS! STOP SALT SHAMING IT!

If loving okra is wrong, I don’t want to be right.

This and the Scatman Crothers as the performer who’s afraid to stop are still magnificent and relevant.

Wait, there was a uproar about okra? Did it involve savages saying it should NOT be rolled in corn meal and then fried in lard or bacon grease?

I do not have enough stars for that gif.

Next you’ll tell me in some book she wrote 20 years ago, she talked about getting comfortable having slaves in her house.

You know how when you get caught doing something, the cops love to say it’s the first time you’ve been caught, but not the first time you’ve done this. I present to you the Baltimore PD. I’m going out on a limb and saying this isn’t the first time they’ve done this. They look really good at it. Also, how can you turn…

Ray Lewis is seriously toting “All lives matter”? Ray Fucking Lewis?? Accessory to Murder Ray Lewis?? Christ my eyes can’t take any more rolling this year.

And do you really think your scrawny ass is going to provoke Shannon Sharpe? Go back and see how many false starts he committed. If those guys can’t make him jump, why do you think you can.

I so shamed to say “Me too”. Meghan McCain and Stacey Dash fall into that same category of loathe/lust.

I’m old.

Exactly. The chief doesn’t want every cop on the payroll to scrub their Facebook posts, so let this guy resign. It’s CYA.

Just like lapsed Catholics and those whacky snake holding no close dancing on Sundays nutjobs. Nuance! But seriously this guy is just a waste of resources my kids will need some day.

Hey now, let’s not bring phones into this. Just like when you see pictures of the KKK and they dress their dogs up in Klan gear: Don’t bring your dog into this racist shit. That dog just wants a steak. He’s a good boy. Leave the dogs and phones out of this!