I, for one, am shocked (SHOCKED) that this has occurred.

I’m just glad that Mel Brooks is branching out into skating.

David Blaine is a demon. Youtube told me so.

The number of conflicts of interests he already has, added to the number he’s purposefully creating, is staggering.

Hey, it could have been worse. It could have been Crooked Hillary who would have something something something email Benghazi.

Of course he would fucking benefit from this.

It’s a safer bet that they are the most intensely tested athletes in the world and that their first positive test is a minimum two-year ban.

My original theory was that he would get impeached 6 months in (give or take 3 months). My new theory is that he will quit before the inauguration.

“This buffoon is going to be the puppet of Kusher, Pence, Bannon and Preibus.”

He is no one’s president. Title or not, he will at best be a cardboard cutout of a president that yells and tweets.

“I am the only one who knows who the finalists are”

As long as they don’t get captured…

I will respect him

ALSO: Felix and Sylvester are definitely androids. It would be so much cheaper for the park to 3d print their own grunt workers, safer bc then the IP would be protected and would never leave the corporation due to the high turnover I would expect from being a robot murder surgeon for 10 hours a day, and for christ…

1st gear:

He infuriates me. All of this infuriates me:

You’re my new fuckin’ heroine, miss.

There’s an African Swallow joke in here somewhere.

Huh. Not the usual kind of hot water we see college athletes getting themselves into these days.

This seriously makes me feel sick.