I haven't been laid in about a decade either, but I'm still bleeding like Drake murdered my vagina (and I'm 47).

As someone from the northeast, I always think open floor plans are ridiculous. If you have an open floor plan there is basically no way to control the temperature in your house when you are heating it! All those doors and walls are there for a reason!

Pick Tiffany! She knows law!

Thank you, yes. For heavens sake. It was like Joan read another person’s criticism and based this post on that rather than watching the show herself.

I was more mad about the dead animals, mostly because I think you’ve got the storytelling purposes twisted.

Well, now John Bolton has one less reason to testify against Trump.

It’s spelled “Buttigieg”, but it’s pronounced “Throat Warbler Mangrove”.

How about a nice greasy pork sandwich served in a dirty ashtray

What is this holiday joy you speak of?

 Kinda love the idea that cats think you’re also a cat but like, really bad at cat, so they bring you dead shit to try to learn you up

You are not. I love musicals, Chicago, Hamilton, Sound of Music, West Side Story...etc.

Crisis on Infinite Christmases

Aviation Gin was part 2, now need part 3. 

Exercise responsibly, drink heavily.

“Dearest Salty,

Ah, Rashomon in a nutshell, minus the bartender’s POV. Let me add it.

“Dear Salty -

Meanwhile, this woman probably just wants to eat and have a drink but feels obligated to engage conversation. 

I know Deadspin is dead, but there is a Curt Shilling joke in here somewhere with that dudes punchable face.