MARK! I feel like I know all of your varied sex fantasies now. Was sexing and dream sexing the theme of tonight's Dirt Bag (with a sub theme of gross dudes?)? Or was it the other way around?

I know it. Widen wants to have a talk with Gaffigan. Chandler doesn't know what early means. Sia's tweet is really the only winner here.

Clarkson popping Morgan in the face is really the only thing that keeps him one step above Morgan on the list of the worst people.

Granny, is that you?

At least he could try to think outside of the corporeal. Jeez. Bad priests are the WORST. Maybe there should be a pissing contest for the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard in church.

I have seen it.

I am a white person in the greys. I have never even thought about someone touching my hairl

Probably so. The fact that the media are using it frequently enough for there to be a weekly parsing of how it is used says a lot to that as well.

(Miller) High (Life) five! I'll bring the cheddar.

Parents do that interesting thing where they come up with a euphemism for something slightly unsavory and somehow the euphemism is worse than the actual word. My parents called poop "heavy load".

I thought I was the only one who was devastated when that was cancelled.

I don't know. Really, I have been friends this woman for 25 years and this is the first time I have questioned her sanity. Kids can make people weird.

Thank you, Kara, for Shade Court.

Yep. One of my friend's kids has repeatedly told my husband that he is "hot" and when she grows up she is "going to marry him", while simultaneously sending me a death stare. She is four and a half.

I know! I was a bit surprised to see that. Who would have guessed in 1996 that the Spice Girl I would most want to hang with in 2015 is Posh. She is surprisingly self-deprecating.

I know, I know. This is a total hate-coupling. I love Neil Young, but we don't have enough white male senior citizen trainwrecks.

I read , "Iggy Azalea's boyfriend NEIL Young says he..."

Kayne smiling makes the world smile.

I am so sorry to hear that. I hope that your exit strategy is successful this time.

I had to cut off contact with an old friend who WOULD NOT STOP telling me that my dad's Parkinson's would be "completely reversed and healed" if he would just eat a vegan diet with a shit-ton of coconut oil. I explained numerous times that it is a degenerative disease and that there is not any bringing someone back.…