I live in fear now. Started reading and fully expected, "announced their impending divorce." PHEW.

If all of us were judged by who we were fucking/sort of fucking at age 22, the world would be a shame sphere. I'm just glad my bad choices weren't world-wide news.

Yeah, you know it wasn't even a year either. It was like two months of "why did we do this?" then we both acknowledged freaking out, bought a house and kept doing us. It was like we had to acknowledge that things had kind of changed, but really, nothing had.

My husband and I were together for nearly eight years prior to our wedding. We lived together for seven of those years.

Insert clip of Craig T. Nelson simultaneously saying that no one ever gave him and hand out and he was on food stamps, for Christ-sakes, that is just how poor he was.

I was wondering if that wasn't a subtle dig, what with Martha's "it's a good thing." tagline. But maybe I am giving Paltrow too much credit there.

I think too, when someone is naturally very small, they see weight gain as more of a moral failing because they don't understand what it's like to be naturally chubbier. She spends a lot of time talking about how people need to have some willpower and exercise more, but I have literally, never seen her break a sweat.…

What she thought it was all about was that she was destined to be the bridge between Britain and Nazi Germany. Her family had connections to Churchill (in fact, Decca's first husband was Churchill's nephew by marriage, but maybe really Churchill's son). She felt she was uniquely positioned to bring the British around…

Curx, of course = crux.

As Sir Mix-A-Lot kindly explained, the curx of the booty is "an itty-bitty waist and a round thing in your face." And yes, I am well aware that "Baby Got Back" was before this girl was even born.

I love me some booty-positive songs, I hatehatehate this song and the accompanying video. On top of the faux-positivism you mention and the Columbusing, the girl cannot move, doesn't have a booty and is a general embarrassment (in my view).

I know. Right. I married a keeper there.

I watch Wheel with my dad during supper once a week. It's normally sort of hellish. A lot of the contestants are very square.

Oh my gosh. If you don't know what "Magic" is, you have to find it and listen to it. It's horrible. As Coldplay as Coldplay gets. It sound like a parody of a Coldplay song, as performed by Coldplay.

I am ambivalent. I have a female OBGYN now (and she is great!), but had a man before and that was fine too. I just looked at reviews of the clinic, assessed whether or not he had been there a while (and he had, more than 20 years) and assumed that if he was a creep he would have been weeded out of a clinic with only…

Right. I wasn't really into what Mayim Bialik had to say about the billboard for Grande's album that is (apparently) traumatizing her kids, but I did feel like this baby prostitute thing is what she was dancing around. I am fine with that judgment. It's a bit like the Britney Spears naughty school girl and her stupid…

I remember when George was George the handyman. What I didn't remember is that he and Nancy McKeon (JO!) had the same haircut.

"kway-sa-dill-ahs" was a very common pronunciation mistake in the wilds of Western Wisconsin in my youth.

Is her attempt here to get through all of that small talk messaging shit all at once? I mean, part of the fun of online dating (as seen through my friends, not personally) is that crazy period where people are messaging their lives and feeling this "amazing connection" while waiting for the bombshell weirdo moment.…

Thank you. I have spent the last 12+ years trying to explain what, exactly, is so horribly annoying about Cold Play. This. This does it. "Moaning quietly into a napkin about clocks".