He got shot breaking into an apartment. Kicked down two doors at 3 in the morning. What did he think would happen?

1 loaf of whole grain bread with the most amount of grains?

Oh, he wants Trump Bread. The classiest, grainiest bread on the market. No Mexican buyers, please.

Look. I know it’s Bryce Harper and all, but this isn’t news. Everyone knows when you haven’t even had the chance to stroke a dong in a while, when you finally get one it’s gonna shoot the fuck outta there.

You missed “race-baiting huckster” from when Craggs fed him thru a woodchipper.

Colin Cowherd, a rat wearing a human suit

The Ardrey Kell High School talent show: You pay for the whole seat, but you’ll only need the edge

His families must be so proud of him.

Goodell is not the problem. He acts on behalf of the franchise owners. He is the Smithers to their Burns.

“Dude, chill the fuck out.”

Gross, no. I said empathy issues, not mental issues.

Ruben Tejada would have totally done the same thing to Chase Utley if he thought he had a leg to stand on.

Students at the university today (however crazy they are for backing JoePa) didn’t do this. So “nuking” them is probably a bit overkill.

As a M’s fan I remain cautiously, skeptically, nervously, and tentatively optimistic.

So. Fucked. Up.

At least they aren’t showing the episode and it’s a semi-happy ending. Jess is a starfucking asshole.

For real. I’d go in with no less than one of these:

*Googles Dearborn*

Shit, I’d need more firepower than that to feel safe at a strip club on the outskirts of Detroit.

You know what inspires rage? The fact that we deliberately load the plane in the least efficient way humanly possible. Which means people clusters up on the walkway, having to climb over people to get to their seats, having to have other people move out into the isle, ect. It's a nightmare, and there is such an easy…

Never thought that I would regret turning down an invitation to watch a fixed wheel bicycle race held on a Saturday night but here we are.